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Where to find the heaviest pours in San Jose

When you want to celebrate — responsibly — you go big or you go home.

In a dimly lit bar, a bright orange cocktail with a chili pepper, a straw, and a green plant stand in the foreground.

It’s not a pour decision if you pace yourself and stay hydrated.

Photo courtesy @haberdashersj

Pour one out for us — we’re here for a good time, not a long time.

Whether you’re celebrating Mardi Gras, or looking for a fun spot to hang with your friends, here are three places with the heaviest pours in town.

Haberdasher, 43 W. San Salvador St.

Go big or go home with this hip, underground spot in the SoFA district. Be immersed in suspenders and trendy mustaches while you sip on a solid craft cocktail. The drinks may be on the pricier side, but it’s totally worth it. City Editor Gregg here — I recommend you try out the bacon Old Fashioned at least once.
Rating: Take a first date here/10

A creamy cocktail sits on a dark wood table. The cocktail has a flaming lime poking out of the rim.

You put the lime in the coconut drink, and... set it on fire?

Photo by SJtoday staff

Dr. Funk, 29 N. San Pedro St.

Walking into this tropical getaway is like stepping into your favorite dive bar and dinner joint. The cocktails are boozy, fruity, and definitely not for the faint of heart. We recommend the Drink of the Gods — three different types of rum, coconut, cherry, pineapple, lemon + bitters? Yes please.
Rating: Swashbuckling swagger/10

A bright, red cocktail with a black straw, and filled with an orange and other fruits.

It definitely will take “industrial strength” on your part to finish one swirl.

Photo by SJtoday staff

Aqui Cal-Mex, four locations

It’s no secret, the “Industrial Strength” swirls are probably the single most dangerous drink in the entire Bay Area. One is plenty, two is far too many, and it’s a good thing that’s the maximum because after three, you may be questioning your life choices. If you’re looking to go less hard in the paint, try Aqui’s lighter, less alcoholic line of swirls. For a good time, pair a single swirl with the incredible Cuban pork carnitas.
Rating: Pace yourself/10

Have a favorite spot with heavy drinks we missed? Let us know.

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